They have been in a relationship for over four years and have finally decided to make it official.

Yadoz.com has it on good authority that the couple are planning on making an official announcement about their relationship once Queen Lateefah is done promoting her current flick, The Perfect Holiday

You read it here first.

Yadoz.com wishes the happy couple all the joy in the world.

Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what? And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward: Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something? Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa. With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.

Surprisingly enough, after five hours the hostage wasn’t talking. The group leader had a gun against his head all that time but the guy didn’t say a word. At that point, the crooks gave up and decided to let him go. The brazilian police then caught the four suspects, aged 19 to 27.

According to the police, the captive is the world leader in GunBound, a turn-based RPG-style multiplayer online game. Developed in South Korea, in this artillery game you get more experience points, offensive and defensive capabilities depending on your skills during battle, as well as money to buy more weapons, armor and all kinds of gear for your multiple avatars. You can only play with one of your avatars each time, but all of them belong to a single account.

The game looks to be quite popular, so the four gangsters decided they could make some quick cash if they kidnapped him to steal his user. Their plan: use one of the criminal’s girlfriends, called Tamires, to get him into a date using Google’s online social network Orkut, which is also extremely popular in Brazil. After contacting and seducing him, she told the GunBound wizard to meet her in a shopping mall.

But she never appeared. Instead, Igor the boyfriend did. Gun in hand, he abducted and held the player prisoner, planning to rely the password to his mates using a cellphone. Against all odds, our hero (or very stupid guy) resisted. Probably using some Stamina +357 spell. Or a Big Cojones +577 mana potion.

Whatever he did to resist the torture for a stupid game password, boys and girls, there’s a moral to this story: if you live in Brazil, keep playing Tetris. Via [Folha Online]

Six Classic Affairs

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.
One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.
“I can’t lie to you,” he replied,
“I’m having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.”
She looked down at his shoes and said:
“You lying bastard!
You’ve been playing golf!”

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.
He was horrified
at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: “There’s no way I can be the
father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?”
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
“Not this time!”

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and  made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever  seen!
“I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician
commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.”
So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home
“I have something to show
you won’t believe,” he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
“My God!” the wife exclaimed,
“Schwartz is dead!”

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.
“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.”
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.
“Don’t move until I tell you,”
she said, ” pretend you’re a statue.”
“What’s this?” the husband inquired
as he entered the room.
“Oh it’s a statue,” she replied,
“the Smiths bought one and  I liked it
so I got one for us, too.”
No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.
“Here,” he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.”

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.
“Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.”
“One Cent?” the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
“How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?”
“A nickel,” the barman replied.
“A nickel?” exclaimed the man.
“Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The bartender replied:
“Upstairs, with my wife.”
The man asked: “What’s he doing upstairs
with your wife?”
The bartender replied:
“The same thing
I’m doing to his business down here.”

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
“I have something I must confess.”
“There’s no need to, ” his wife replied.
“No,” he insisted,
“I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her  best friend, and your mother!”
“I know,” she replied,
” now just rest
and let the poison work.”

A pattern of StumbleUpon use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

1. Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
* A need for markedly increased amounts of time on StumbleUpon to achieve satisfaction.
* Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of time on StumbleUpon.
2. Withdrawal, as manifested by either A or B below:
* (A) the characteristic withdrawal syndrome, 1, 2 and 3 below
1. Cessation of (or reduction in) StumbleUpon use that has been heavy and prolonged.
2. Two (or more) of the following, developing within several days to a month after Criterion:
o (a) psychomotor agitation
o (b) anxiety
o (c) obsessive thinking about what is happening on StumbleUpon
o (d) fantasies or dreams about StumbleUpon
o (e) voluntary or involuntary typing movements of the fingers
3. The symptoms in Criterion 2 cause distress or impairment in social, occupational or another important area of functioning
* (B) Use of StumbleUpon is engaged in to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
3. StumbleUpon is accessed more often or for longer periods of time than was intended, causing the untreated addict to neglect responsibilities at work and the needs of the family at home.
4. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control StumbleUpon use.
5. A great deal of time is spent in activities related to StumbleUpon use (for example, searching for new articles to submit, commenting on submitting articles).
6. Frequent talks about StumbleUpon in daily life.
7. Important family, social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced in duration and/or frequency because of StumbleUpon use.
8. StumbleUpon use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical, family, social, occupational, or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by StumbleUpon use (for example, sleep deprivation, marital difficulties, lateness for early morning appointments, neglect of occupational duties, or feelings of abandonment in significant others).

1.You must believe that being a drug addict is an entitlement.

2. You must believe that those born to privilege or those who achieve success are pockets to be picked.

3. You must believe that ethics are relative to your nationality or creed, and therefore free to be ignored.

4. You must believe that folks who work for their money should be taxed at a high rate, to subsidize those who do nothing.

5. You must believe that being “morally upright” means being gay and liberal.

6. You must believe that, to rid the country of crime, you must rid the world of people.

7. You must agree that racking up huge amounts of debt and handing it off to future generations is worth the few hoot owls.

8. You must believe the US should defer to the UN, turn over US troops to international tribunals and foreign generals, while simultaneously underwriting most of the international aid/ rescue programs in perpetuity.

9. You must believe that the best person to represent the United States in the UN is someone who gives in.

10. You must believe that government should legitimize your deviant behaviors, and should feel perfectly at home in our bedrooms and doctors offices.

11. You must believe that profitable science is perfectly ok to run government, and that all pollution which comes from science is bunk when it cuts into your profits.

12. You must support prayer in schools, as long its to Allah or Buddha.

13. You must believe that we should kill a helpless woman in a hospital bed, and support thousands living in flood plains with advance notice of a hurricane beyond all reason after their elected officials have failed them.

14.You must believe that the color of the person drowning influences the impact of the story.

15.You must believe that no Democrat is crooked, as long as he says “I did not have sex with that woman.”

16. You must believe that “Standing Tall for America” means paying your workers more than they are worth, and keeping their jobs to Indiana long after you have gone insolvent because, corporations headquartered offshore to avoid taxes, have run you out of business.

17. You must believe that a woman can kill her own body and anything issuing forth from it, and that you can manage huge multi-national corporations and make decisions affecting all mankind with no training whatsoever.

18. You must hate those that love Jesus, but love those who share your hatred and distrust of the rich, heterosexuals, and Bush.

19. You must support the ACLU for representing all people whose rights have been violated, except Christians, and capitalists.

20. You must believe that the best way to show appreciation to the troops is to give aid and comfort to their enemies, undercut their moral, and use the courts to get them to divulge their information sources and interrogation techniques.

21. You must be willing to believe that group sex and drug use are acceptable lifestyle choices, and as such, should be taught in public schools.

22. You must think that teaching liberal sex education and offering birth control in schools is the wisest course, since teenagers will have sex anyway.

23. You must think that the best way to fight terrorism is to appease our enemies, and defer to the rest of the world when they demand our money.

24. You must believe that health care is a right, in which no one pays, yet everyone receives health insurance. You must also believe that insurance companies can exist without the profit.

25.You must believe that going bankrupt is a social problem, and that the governments top concern should be how YOU got there in the first place.

26. You must have not been asleep in church when they warned you against vice and excess.

27. You must believe that the illusion of security under Saddam was better for Iraq.

28. You must have a narrow, black/white view of global politics, and be able to criticize any action without offering any solution, viable or otherwise, as an alternative, and believe that anyone in office now is profiting from the war in Iraq.

29. You must believe that the Bill of Rights said that their can be no God in our politics.

30. You must agree that there is no distinction between adulterous affairs, and dereliction of duty, obstruction of justice, abuse of the position of President of the United States, lude acts committed on public property, perjury, or rape.

31. You must believe that Dick Cheney is still being paid by Halliburton.

32. You must believe that attorney-client privilege does not apply to the President.

33. You must always remember Bush saying “Read my lips.” But forget the democrats who held the country hostage with no budget for weeks past the start of the fiscal year just to force him to reneg on the statement.

34. You must gerrymander and contort any district you wish to ensure an ethnic enclave is created that supports your party.

35. You must believe that if you count the votes enough times, you will finally get a tally you like.

36. You must always be the one to sign the back of checks and never the front. You must believe that you have a right to a job, or at least a check. You must believe that anyone working for minimum wage is doing their best, and will never move ahead unless the government intervenes on their behalf, even if that intervention makes them complacent, and removes any incentive for them to do it on their own.

Rules For Being A Republican 

This is the full Saddam Execution Video. Not for the faint at heart, or the easily moved.

Love him or hate him, Saddam Hussein Al-Tikriti was a man who did not give a hoot until the very end. He did not seem to flinch.

Either way, good riddance to a person who truly made the world a worse place.

My questions however are as follows:

1) Was this execution carried out by “the government” of Iraq or by some of those militias insurgents private armies that seem to control the area there? I am no expert at executions, but it seemed odd that the executioners would all wear ski masks and chant en masse as the prisoner hostage criminal is being executed.

2) What did Uncle Sam think the WMD poison gas was going to be used for when he sold it to Saddam?

3) Why did Uncle Sam and Great Brittania not cut off relations with Saddam when he was committing his attrocities in 1982 (against the kurds) and again in 1989 against the Iranians? Why all of a sudden in 2003 did it become an issue to find WMDs, Saddam Hussein, Osama ibn Laden, Saddam Hussein irrespective of the cost to this nation (USA)?
4) What kind of precedent have we set for the 20th 21st century when we say it is ok for a stronger nation Iraq USA to invade a weaker nation Kuwait Iraq, depose its duly constituted government led by the Emir of Kuwait Saddam Hussein, and put in place a puppet government controlled by, and answerable to Iraq USA , then execute the de facto head of the original government Sheikh Faud al–Ahmad al–Sabah Saddam Hussein? At least we did not run him over with a tank after letting him hang to his death.
Ok, enough of my musings. Enjoy the video (if you are into that sort of thing)